Not sure which Zodiac

When “Zodiac” came out, starting such awesome actors as Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr. and Jake Gyllenhaal, it went right on my must see list.  Even though I knew they never caught the killer in the end, I figured the journey would be fun.  Then I saw “The Zodiac” on Comcast, under Free Movies, and thought I scored.

 

 

My boyfriend and I watched it.  The entire time I kept waiting for one of those delicious actors to show up, and bang, the movie was over.  I was so full of anticipation; I don’t think I enjoyed the movie as I could have.  (Um….not that any normal person ‘enjoys’ serial killers, except maybe other serial killers, at which point it becomes an instructional movie.  Reason number 2775 why serial killers in prison should not be allowed any comforts, including movie watching)

 

Does anyone know why movies come in pairs?   Here is a page that goes into it:  http://www.filmjunk.com/2007/03/07/when-movies-come-in-pairs-examples-of-hollywood-deja-vu/.

 

What I found most interesting about “The Zodiac” was the glimpse into life in the 1960s. I don’t know if that was the intention of the director, and I may fast-goog it when I am done writing this, but it was fascinating seeing the gender separation in the marriage, how the kids were shooed out of the house on a Saturday morning and expected to take care of themselves, how little detective work resembled todays Law and Order or CSI. 

 

I would like to adopt the part where they come home from work and have a strong drink.  Now that I think of it, I have managed to adopt a strong gin and tonic as soon as I get home every night. Since it’s after the gym, and before dinner, it has the impact of 17 lite beers, and I can only do one gin and tonic per night. It makes me much more interesting in my opinion (as if every word I type is not purely my opinion).

 

For a totally trippy venture into life before modern times (but not quite 10,000 BC realism – cough choke) watch Mad Men.  It is an amazing display of how much our ‘knowledge’ in modern day changes our lives. There was one scene after a party where one of the guests, totally shit faced, took his drink to go in a glass, got in his car, and drove home. Everyone waved him off, because they didn’t talk about drunk drivers then. 

 

Back to Zodiac, or maybe The Zodiac, not sure which one I watched any longer.  If you look for build up, tension, and release…this is not the movie for you. If you can enjoy getting to know someone for the intellectual and conversational joy, and would be perfectly happy with a hug goodbye after an interesting evening, see it.

 

I don’t know if I will watch the other one. I feel like I already know what I will not learn.

 

2 monkeys. I cant find any more in me to give.

Rounders

Its been many years since I have seen Rounders, and since my memory is so lame, it felt totally new.

 

It’s a movie about poker, a smart talented guy trying to make his way in the world of gambling, poker, and a friendship that may bring it to a halting stop, and some poker.

 

I’ve been playing online Texas Hold ‘em lately (no, not for money) and think I am pretty good. While we watched the movie, my boyfriend and I played a little game of Texas Hold ‘em too.  We were too lazy to go buy poker chips, so we split up the things laying around by the couch as our wagers. 

 

We gambled with:

Ø       2 Wiii controllers

Ø       1 Wii nanchuck

Ø       2 remote controls

Ø       2 cell phones

Ø       1 bottle opener

Ø       2 earrings

 

 

After I easily won it all, his socks went, and a promise of another pair. Then we played for drinks.  We had a spare glass, and for each bet we poured a little beer in.  The poor guy was drink and sock-free when we were done.  Plus I am the boss of the remote controls now.

 

The gist of the movie that hunky law school student, Matt Damon, pissed off his girlfriend for losing all their money at an attempt to build up enough capital and head off to vegas to play against the big guys.  So he promises never to gamble again. Then his buddy, Ed Norton, gets out of jail and tricks Matt back on the poker circuit. Throw in some doublecrossing, old debts to be paid, angry girlfriends, law professors…this movie has everything.  I don’t want to ruin the ending, so instead I will just mention its about ‘tells’.  When people gamble, they have magical tells that give away their hand.  If I scratch my eyebrow, Matt Damon can tell that I did not get the third Jack I hoped for, and since the guy on my left sneezed, he got the card to complete the inside straight, so I am the dumbshit for not folding.

 

I went to vegas soon after.  Had a vision of playing Texas Hold ‘em and getting on the world poker tour, but every time I started to join the playing, I felt too short and female and didn’t have the guts.  Instead I played a lot of 3 card poker, and the tells totally helped me out.  Since each player is playing against the dealer, vs each other, they all talk about their hands (at least at my table) and TELL Me what they have. So I can make better assumptions on what the dealer has, deciding whether to throw down another ten bucks to stay in the hand.  I paid for my trip with a straight flush, followed by three kings, followed by three Aces. 

 

I love poker.

 

Rounders gets a solid 5 monkeys.

Judge Dredd

Comcast kept playing ads for Judge Dredd, and I finally broke down and watched it. 

 

I guess I have never seen it before, even though I feel intimately familiar with it since I have a vague memory of some streets being closed in Seattle a million years ago when it was filmed.  After a fast-goog (lazy half assed google search) I found nothing, so maybe it was a dream.  Maybe the movie was a dream.

 

It’s based on a comic book (I love comic book movies, though I cannot read comic books, too expensive for how quickly they are read).  Takes place in the future, where highly trained ‘judges’ deliver on the spot justice.  Its cool, with flying cars,  Aspen turned into a prison, Adam Sandler’s personal sidekick (Rob Schneider), and a big robot with red eyes, which we all know signifies its being used for evil.   The uncool part is that the movie is dumb.

 

I kept waiting for Sandra Bullock to show up a-la Demolition Man, and even when I think back to the move I keep imagining she was in it, as opposed to Dianne Lane.

 

Dianne Lane, who I think is super beautiful, was just cute when she was younger.  A great example of how there are two types of beautiful females (a guy I dated told me this once):

1. Beautiful in the youth, but it will fade
2. Cute in youth, with beauty that will grow in age

Dianne Lane is #2.  She was cute, but is super pretty now.

 

The rating is 1 monkey.  Breakdown below…

+1 monkey for the robot

+1 monkey for the tie to seattle, imagined or not

+1 monkey for it being a comic book movie

-2 monkeys for lameness

Total: 1 monkey, only for the robot.

Saints and Soliders – A good old fashion war hero movie

So on this father’s day I decided to do all guy stuff.  I hung out with the kids, I watched the US Open and the AMAZING put by Tiger Woods on 18 to force a playoff.  I watched some of the LA-Boston game and then I popped in Saints and Soldiers.

The flick is about a group of soldiers that end up behind German lines in WWII but hold key intelligence that could turn the war.  The problem?  Getting back to US held areas without getting killed.  This show on my new 100″ screen looks amazing but would be good on anything.  Lots of gun battles both big and small.  The whole things takes place in winter so the snow is really visually cool during battles.

The only thing is that it was just all too predictable.  I mean most war movies have some level of predictability but this one seemed more than most.  Maybe I was just in a mood and didn’t buy into it but would have on some other night.  The one thing that was an interesting story line was the question of belief in God.  Only they didn’t really play that up as much as they could have.  When they did it felt forced.

So, despite the fact I LOVE war movies, this one just was only ok.  I can’t say it was all bad because it was still a war movie after all.  So I’m giving this 3 of 5 monkeys.

OLD SCHOOL! Scarface: 20th Anniversary Edition

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!  I decided to check out Scarface again.  Why?  Because I just got a new 100″ screen with my new Panasonic PT-AX200U projector.  SWEET.  Oh and the movie was good too.

I’m sure MOST of you (except moviemonkeychick) knows Scarface but just for grins here my review.

Scarface is a classic gangster / drug lord movie.  An Oliver Stone pic, it has all sorts of interesting dynamics.  Al Pancino plays Tony the hard core gangster from Cuba.  Michelle Pfeiffer is the “love interest” back in Michelle’s good lookin’ days.  Although, admittedly she was just too damn skinny for my tastes.

Anyway, its a story of the rise and fall of a drug lord.  One who is brutal, greedy and goes to excess with everything.  Ultimately he breaks rule #2 of never get hooked on your own supply.  Everything goes to hell and in the end he’s taken out as expected.  You can see it building to it and yet you still feel interested.

Scarface is a classic movie that any fan of gangster movies should watch.  You’ll see other movies take the same approach that were made years later because it was so good.  5 of 5 monkeys.

There Will Be Blood – Hopefully there will be blood faster

There Will Be Blood.  How could you ask for a cooler title than that?  As a guy, I mean that just immediately makes me want to watch it.  Well, assuming I know in advance its not a horror/slasher movie.  Anyway, I thought with Mr. Daniel Lewis at the lead how could it go wrong?   It won all sorts of awards so how could it go wrong?

The plot is basically some guys are drilling (if you can call it that) for oil back in the maybe early 1920’s???  Not sure of the period.  Regardless it was obviously dangerous and tough work.  So I don’t want to give spoilers for the 1 person besides me and monkeymoviechick that read this.  But, the move is SO DAMN slow.  I mean, the acting is great.  The plot is just too damn slow.

And the ending?  Its just effin’ weird.   I just didn’t get it frankly.  I guess with that plot there was no way to end it cleanly.

I would say for acting it gets some points.  But overall I thought it was not that good.  I’m giving There Will Be Slowness Blood only 2 of 5 monkeys.

Kung Fun Panda – Is it me as a Panda?

Well, I took the rugrats to see Kung Fu Panda today. First, let me say that Jack Black is weird, cool, terrible, brilliant and crazy all at the same time in every movie he does. Sometimes I think he’s mental and other time hilarious. SO, this time he is the Panda in Kung Fu Panda.

Its a pretty typical kid flick. Funny enough for adults, great lesson for kids and should make a ton of money for the studio. The plot is basically the Panda is a big dork (like me?) who has a dream of being a Kung Fu fighter. He’s a bit overweight (like me?) and is a long shot from being a Kung Fu fighter (like me?). In the end the story turns out like you predict and I’ll leave it at that.

Overall, 3 of 5 monkeys… Unless it means you get to spend 1.5 hours laughing with your rugrats where you otherwise would have not, and that’s a 5 of 5.

Oh, and big bonus… IT HAS A MONKEY as a Kung Fu fighter.

American Gangster – Dude, $250 million in the 70’s?

Ok, so my latest movie is American Gangster with Denzel Washington. The plot is of course Frank (Denzel) becomes this big time gangster selling drugs in Harlem in the late 60’s and 70’s. What makes him more successful than any other guy? He buys DIRECT from Thailand and other area countries during the peak of the Vietnam war. He use US military personnel to transport it back to the US. Yep, you read that right.

For a gangster movie I liked it a lot. It was over the top violence like some movies (Casino, Goodfellas, etc) but showed more of the characters. And, I always like Denzel. He really does a fantastic job as usual. Some of the co-stars i thought only did fair. I *love* Cuba Gooding, Jr. but I really didn’t like his character nor how he played it.

The greatest thing about this movie? Based on a true story. The worst thing? Its a true story and this guy that killed people and effed with people’s lives gets out after only 15 years in prison. He should have rotted away. But I can’t blame the movie for that. 4 out of 5 monkeys

Iron Man – This one effin’ rules!

Awesome. Fantastic. Cool. Fun. Entertaining. Sweet. Bad-ass. Wicked. Ok, I’m out of fun words.

Look, this movie is just greatness. I don’t even follow the Iron Man comic (or any comics for that matter) but I can say this one is the best Marvel movie yet. Basically, instead of some “oh my God I got some cool power and now I figure out how to use it for good but hope I don’t use it for evil but I’m so young how do I handle it” crap, this one is for the regular guy. Well, maybe not regular… more geeky. But look, if you are normal dude (as chick in honor of my co-blogger) that likes shit blowing up but doesn’t want to fully buy into the “I got bitten by a spider / I came for outer space / I like bats kinda stuff, this one is for you. It helps that he’s a total bad ass too.

Robert Downey Jr is just awesome. He plays the part to perfection in my opinion. And Gwyneth usually doesn’t do it for me. But that whole hot librarian look really works for her. She should keep up with that. SO, if you want to plop down $8-10 for a tix on the big screen, I’m all in favor.

5 of 5 monkeys for this one.

Juno – Like, it was pretty good

Ok, so I finally got some time this weekend to check out Juno. In case you don’t know the plot, here’s the scoop. Neurotic girl gets pregnant with some geeky guy. Girl decides to keep the baby but put it up for adoption. Girl meets seemingly normal yet wacko couple. Story is found.

So, basically, as a guy I thought I might not really like this. But turns out I think it was pretty damn good. Sure, its about as far away from my reality as it can get (for now, I do have kids after all.. holy shit.. lets not think that) but it was REALLY entertaining.

I do wonder how much teenagers really talk like that or were they being over dramatic for the movie. The style of language (not foul) was just odd really. Maybe its a sign I’m really old.

Favorite character: toss up between Juno’s dad and crazy adoptive dad.
Least favorite character: the best friend… no value add to the movie

I’ll give this one a 4 of 5 monkeys rating.