Iron Man – This one effin’ rules!

Awesome. Fantastic. Cool. Fun. Entertaining. Sweet. Bad-ass. Wicked. Ok, I’m out of fun words.

Look, this movie is just greatness. I don’t even follow the Iron Man comic (or any comics for that matter) but I can say this one is the best Marvel movie yet. Basically, instead of some “oh my God I got some cool power and now I figure out how to use it for good but hope I don’t use it for evil but I’m so young how do I handle it” crap, this one is for the regular guy. Well, maybe not regular… more geeky. But look, if you are normal dude (as chick in honor of my co-blogger) that likes shit blowing up but doesn’t want to fully buy into the “I got bitten by a spider / I came for outer space / I like bats kinda stuff, this one is for you. It helps that he’s a total bad ass too.

Robert Downey Jr is just awesome. He plays the part to perfection in my opinion. And Gwyneth usually doesn’t do it for me. But that whole hot librarian look really works for her. She should keep up with that. SO, if you want to plop down $8-10 for a tix on the big screen, I’m all in favor.

5 of 5 monkeys for this one.

Juno – Like, it was pretty good

Ok, so I finally got some time this weekend to check out Juno. In case you don’t know the plot, here’s the scoop. Neurotic girl gets pregnant with some geeky guy. Girl decides to keep the baby but put it up for adoption. Girl meets seemingly normal yet wacko couple. Story is found.

So, basically, as a guy I thought I might not really like this. But turns out I think it was pretty damn good. Sure, its about as far away from my reality as it can get (for now, I do have kids after all.. holy shit.. lets not think that) but it was REALLY entertaining.

I do wonder how much teenagers really talk like that or were they being over dramatic for the movie. The style of language (not foul) was just odd really. Maybe its a sign I’m really old.

Favorite character: toss up between Juno’s dad and crazy adoptive dad.
Least favorite character: the best friend… no value add to the movie

I’ll give this one a 4 of 5 monkeys rating.

NOT a movie review

But this IS on YouTube and it IS about a monkey. So, what the hell its close enough.

Holy crap, I watched a chick flick

So it was like Mother’s Day weekend and I had to do all the chick stuff in honor of my chick, who is like, a mother. SO, between doing the effin’ laundry and dealing with two rugrats that decided Mother’s Day is the perfect day to act like total pains-in-the-ass, I watched…

I’m ashamed to admit…

27 Dresses. Also code for “If you watch this as a guy you must be whipped Dresses”

Ok, so I’m NOT the chick flick type. After watching this movie I must admit that… I’m still not the chick flick type. I SUPPOSE you feel a hint of happiness at the end when someone falls in love. But mostly it was cheesy. Like, (forgive me if I spoil it), when the entire bar erupts in singing. Jesus, I saw that coming and yet I couldn’t look away fast enough.

I prefer Katherine Heigl like this:

I give 4 monkeys each with $20 bills for that. But I only give 1 monkey and at least 1 eye patch on that monkey for 27 Dresses.

Revolver

I was looking for a movie with action, guns, shooting, and thick accents. A movie by Guy Ritchie is a given to meet my needs. Add Jason Statham as a lead, and it’s a guaranteed night of bliss for me.

I cannot provide a synopsis on this movie, I would ruin the movie if I did. Trust me that if you have a brain, a heart, and good taste…..you will love it…

10 reasons to watch this movie:

1. Action
2. Jason
3. Guns
4. Jason
5. Made me think
6. Jason
7. Scenes in giant tanning beds / salons
8. Jason
9. It ‘changed’ me
10. Jason

I have a new perspective after this movie. It put into (movie) words the concept that lets me get through life with happiness. Seriously.

The only disappointment was that the accents were not thick enough, I didn’t have to turn on captions to understand dialogue, as in Snatch (not only another great movie, but a great title).

After the movie, I watched a 10 minute interview with the director and editor. Guy Richie (aka my future lover, confidante and best friend if all goes to plan) is amazing. I do not understand how he could be married to MADONNA. The 50 year old woman who wears leg warmers and played the crucifixion in concert. It might be that she is worth more than I. I did the math, I am worth $200,000. She is worth $2 gazillion, that is about a billion times more than I.

The movie did not get the best reviews in the theatre, probably because most of the viewer were dumbasses. Those who did not like it are probably Miller Lite drinkers, and have never had a Hefewiezen in their life.

5 happy smart drunk monkeys for this one.

The first movie: Alien Versus Predator: Requiem

I know I know, this silly site should start off with something more… I don’t know, interesting…

But, the last movie I watched before starting this blog was AVP: Requiem.

Here’s the basic deal. Alien, a super successful sci-fi series and Predator, a moderately successful one (starring the Governator Arnold) attempt to combine to make a few more bucks. I won’t even pretend there is a fancy story line. These two aliens decide to try to kill each other while on Earth. They tend to kill everyone around them as well.

Two good things in this flick: 1) Lots of shit getting blown up and 2) Kristen Hager strips down to her undies in a pool scene. What? Don’t know who Kristen Hager is? Oh, me either.

Let’s just say unless you are a huge sci-fi fan and have to watch this simply because it is AVP, then skip it. I give it 1 monkey out of 5 monkeys.