Rounders

Its been many years since I have seen Rounders, and since my memory is so lame, it felt totally new.

 

It’s a movie about poker, a smart talented guy trying to make his way in the world of gambling, poker, and a friendship that may bring it to a halting stop, and some poker.

 

I’ve been playing online Texas Hold ‘em lately (no, not for money) and think I am pretty good. While we watched the movie, my boyfriend and I played a little game of Texas Hold ‘em too.  We were too lazy to go buy poker chips, so we split up the things laying around by the couch as our wagers. 

 

We gambled with:

Ø       2 Wiii controllers

Ø       1 Wii nanchuck

Ø       2 remote controls

Ø       2 cell phones

Ø       1 bottle opener

Ø       2 earrings

 

 

After I easily won it all, his socks went, and a promise of another pair. Then we played for drinks.  We had a spare glass, and for each bet we poured a little beer in.  The poor guy was drink and sock-free when we were done.  Plus I am the boss of the remote controls now.

 

The gist of the movie that hunky law school student, Matt Damon, pissed off his girlfriend for losing all their money at an attempt to build up enough capital and head off to vegas to play against the big guys.  So he promises never to gamble again. Then his buddy, Ed Norton, gets out of jail and tricks Matt back on the poker circuit. Throw in some doublecrossing, old debts to be paid, angry girlfriends, law professors…this movie has everything.  I don’t want to ruin the ending, so instead I will just mention its about ‘tells’.  When people gamble, they have magical tells that give away their hand.  If I scratch my eyebrow, Matt Damon can tell that I did not get the third Jack I hoped for, and since the guy on my left sneezed, he got the card to complete the inside straight, so I am the dumbshit for not folding.

 

I went to vegas soon after.  Had a vision of playing Texas Hold ‘em and getting on the world poker tour, but every time I started to join the playing, I felt too short and female and didn’t have the guts.  Instead I played a lot of 3 card poker, and the tells totally helped me out.  Since each player is playing against the dealer, vs each other, they all talk about their hands (at least at my table) and TELL Me what they have. So I can make better assumptions on what the dealer has, deciding whether to throw down another ten bucks to stay in the hand.  I paid for my trip with a straight flush, followed by three kings, followed by three Aces. 

 

I love poker.

 

Rounders gets a solid 5 monkeys.

Judge Dredd

Comcast kept playing ads for Judge Dredd, and I finally broke down and watched it. 

 

I guess I have never seen it before, even though I feel intimately familiar with it since I have a vague memory of some streets being closed in Seattle a million years ago when it was filmed.  After a fast-goog (lazy half assed google search) I found nothing, so maybe it was a dream.  Maybe the movie was a dream.

 

It’s based on a comic book (I love comic book movies, though I cannot read comic books, too expensive for how quickly they are read).  Takes place in the future, where highly trained ‘judges’ deliver on the spot justice.  Its cool, with flying cars,  Aspen turned into a prison, Adam Sandler’s personal sidekick (Rob Schneider), and a big robot with red eyes, which we all know signifies its being used for evil.   The uncool part is that the movie is dumb.

 

I kept waiting for Sandra Bullock to show up a-la Demolition Man, and even when I think back to the move I keep imagining she was in it, as opposed to Dianne Lane.

 

Dianne Lane, who I think is super beautiful, was just cute when she was younger.  A great example of how there are two types of beautiful females (a guy I dated told me this once):

1. Beautiful in the youth, but it will fade
2. Cute in youth, with beauty that will grow in age

Dianne Lane is #2.  She was cute, but is super pretty now.

 

The rating is 1 monkey.  Breakdown below…

+1 monkey for the robot

+1 monkey for the tie to seattle, imagined or not

+1 monkey for it being a comic book movie

-2 monkeys for lameness

Total: 1 monkey, only for the robot.